Ok I’m worried.. maybe fearful even as this semester glooms into start…
I know about being faithful to what Jesus says not to worry and to trust and obey him.. but it is just my honest expression that there’s this sense of fearful uncertainty in me right now. It is ironic when I am usually the person who reminds my church youths about having uncertainty in life yet having the trust that Christ has overcome the world and all things are under God, belongs to Him..
I just reached YIH after staff meeting at YFC. Supposed to meet 2 other brothers from CVCF to finalize and print the camp materials which will be taking place from tomorrow till friday.. However they are gonna be real late.. and as i look and talk to some of my conservatory friends which i saw in the canteen, i just realized that I have not been practicing the whole holiday (if my teacher sees this, i’m like.. woohoo).. I haven even been back to school to practice..
Well I’m not obliged to at all.. and there’s really no need to unless that’s what my life is only about.. but i can’t deny that seeing a significant number of my friends going back to the practice rooms everyday is not affecting me..
Michael taught 3 main points today. Belonging to God exclusively, Being an appreciative (and i guess happy) slave to Christ and going beyond what is expected of us because we are pleasing God, not just simply obeying Him.
I was sharing with uncle Kim Meng about how i am disquieted at how it probably will be difficult to apply many of the truths that i’ve gathered into this semester. But even then, i have still yet to find out what are some of the difficulties that are ahead. It is like, i know there will be problems, but i dunno what they are!
Does going beyond what is expected also happens in my major study? If so, does this mean the time and effort i spend on ministry will have to compromised whenever school starts? if not, why am i feeling like i just want to get over the rest of this education quickly, when i know that pple are dying to be where i am now, and i think that the correct attitude would then to be thankful and get as much out of this education as God deems fit.
2nd service, yfc: garage, mission trips, playmax, major study, school, jury, CVCF- not sure how much i can commit even just based on attendance (again, orchestra practices are clashed with , dad and mum and brothers.. I have to say i really dunno what to expect physically and mentally this time round.. except its gonna be a tough few months.. i’m not even bidding because i am just aiming to do the minimum subjects i need to and leave the other compulsory external modules for later years..
Ok my friends are here.. God help us, God help me..
