Project Serve

Psalm 90:10 says:

The length of our days is seventy years - or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. 

If God be so gracious to let me live till 70, I would have approximately [(70-24) x 365] - 10 = 16, 780 days left on earth. I like to be amazed that the days I have left on earth is countable. It isn’t as long as I think I can. 

How tough it is to lose friends. especially elder mentors. Max is leaving us any second now. He was the first person in my life to individually challenge me to do evangelism in secondary school after a sunday school lesson. In my mind, he has always been a fearless Sunday school teacher. I was sharing to the congregation today, there was so much I could fellowship with this brother, learn from this godly man in my life, which I thought I still had time to do.

I still want to bring my kids and wife to visit his family at his house one day. I want to tell my children and wife how this man willingly gave me a packet of tracks because I was willing to share Jesus to my friends. And the memorable thing was that he only did it for me in the whole class. He made me at ease when I told him that I was afraid of army before I went in. He taught me what it means to give and receive. Freely receive, freely give. And I got my Bible for free. Above all, he showed me what it means to be a happy Christian. He never once complained about his children spending too much time in Church. I see him and his wife such a happy couple. Even when I saw him having to step down as head of department, which I secretly guessed wasn’t what he wished, he never grumbled or said anything negative. He was a happy man, cheerful Christian. Because he understands that Jesus came to give us life, abundant life. 

Doctors say he might not make it pass tonight. I’m not sure how to handle my emotions and feelings the next few days. I am praying for their children. They must be having a tough time. Lord have mercy.

The first SBK club gathering of 2010 happened earlier this evening at 412 tze char stall. Really great to again meet part of the boys from ATGM platoon. Kuanhe, Wenrong, Zhengquan, Clint, Marcus, Chester and myself. The food was great and all, but the new thing for me was the first time with my hands on a game that I kept hearing about but never got the chance to play - Left 4 Dead.

It was all dark and noisy at the LAN shop as usual. Game wasn’t that hard to understand after all. Very soon started the section movement. The scene and sounds were gross and foul and all, but there were many moments that reminded me of the teamwork we had back in the army. We walked out of the shop calling ourselves band of brothers.

Brothers we were, and still are, in a way that is deeper than normal friends in school. I wonder if the boys would really risk their lives to save one of us like they did in the game, should a real war call us to our rifles one day. I think we would. I asked them if they missed army on the train and there was a moment of complete silence, really rare. I guess the stories about the good ol’ days that came after the silence meant that they miss it as much as I do, and we still look forward to every reservist training each year. I don’t think it is something crazy or rare; it is just, we knew no matter how tough the training went, as long as they din kill us, they make us stronger, and as a platoon, care for each other even when out of the battlefield.

I always wonder do we welcome 2010, or does 2010 welcome us? 

Just came back from Church’s watch-night service. Bishop Solomon came to deliver his sermon and conducted Holy Communion. I dunno, I just feel so blessed to do this on a new year’s eve, and on a new year’s day. There weren’t fireworks or loud music. Just confessions, simple reflections and personal decisions to start us off. 

I finally told my major teacher that my long term plans are not to continue in a professional percussion setting, whether solo or orchestra. He says he will support me in whatever capacity he can. This also sparks off the possibility to go back to Peabody and do a recording arts program. My stint with the director’s course has been incredibly helpful. It takes no less than a miracle to return to Peabody with a scholarship from YST.

It is interesting to see Washington DC in the 6:30pm news 狮城今日. I shouted to my mum and dad that I was there on friday! How different it looks now with all the snow covered.

Very thankful to God for bringing me back home safely. I remember people asking me why I wanted to go JFK airport when there’s Baltimore airport few months back. Well, I really din know why, but now I think I might know - because Baltimore airport was closed and numerous flights cancelled on the day I was flying. JFK weather was really good.

Luke 2:6-7 “And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and(C) laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.”

Is there room in my heart this Christmas?

Can’t sleep, jet lag. Typing this at 4:26am

4:39am 19th Dec 2009 @ Baltimore Penn Station

Thought I’ll talk a little about now and yesterday since I have more than an hour to my train at 6:09am to New York.

I never knew snowfall could drastically change the outlook of a place. I got a minor shock when I saw how Peabody has changed from the usual appearance into a blanket of snow at 3am. The snow was so thick that I had to go by a longer way through the main building to the campus police. They were very nice to drive me to penn station. I never knew it was so dangerous to drive in snow! Everything to my eyes outside the van window was like a portrait. It’s incredibly beautiful. I was actually thinking of lugging my luggage to the station myself if campus police couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t be happily typing here if that were the case.

Yesterday was the most eventful day of my life in Baltimore. You see, I was so busy with all that was going on in this semester, as most of you know, and I only traveled out of Maryland once. That was to a concert at Curtis in Philadelphia and I left and returned on the same night, all within 8 hours including travel time. It will really be a shame not to visit the capital before going back Singapore, especially when it’s only a 40 minutes car drive. I only finished my finals on Thursday and yesterday was the only day I had to explore America before I leave now.

The problem is, I don’t have the faintest idea what’s there and I couldn’t find a group to go with. Some of us were going ahead with the risk operation but a few still had finals and some had friends suddenly picking them to their houses outside Baltimore. So the last brave soul was a Tang Daiqi who courageously went with a Corporal, who have zero Intel and reconnaissance and almost failed his navigation test in the army.

Armed with a map and prayers, I did a little research on how to get train tickets and started the mission, which I will now codename “Operation DC”. (Sorry about all the army lingo guys, I’m quite a bit inspired by some WWII Museum displays. More about that later!)

Reveille was at 6am and move out was at 7am from school. It was surprising how smooth the ticketing purchase is because I’ve never bought this set of tickets called Marc train before. Arrival time was accurate to the dot and we were so early that the museums were not open yet. But I was thirlled to find the Reflecting pool. For those who don’t know what the reflecting pool is, you might remember the scene in Forest Gump where Tom Hanks ran across this shallow pool to embrace his childhood sweetheart after receiving his medal of honor in the Vietnam War. Yes! It was amazing! Like watching TV in the TV! And what’s even more exciting is that the whole lake was frozen with ice! How cool is that!! I tried stepping on the ice and upon more force, it broke! Woohoo!!!!! Might sound dumb, sorry, but it was just nothing I’ve experienced before or seen before. I think Daiqi took a video. See if can upload it.

I went to “Holland” (means lost my way) during Operation DC for a while in my navigation at the first part but eventually got back on track after consulting a few people. The Museums there are all very interesting and free of charge. I wished we could get closer to the white house, but it was the white house nevertheless. ☺ There’s this museum where I was especially thrilled by the WWII stuff. Those of you who know how much I like WWII movies and documentaries might imagine the excitement I had. There was this legit (means real in American slang) jeep, which I saw in the band of brothers episode of bastogne, where they ferried wounded soldiers to Battalion Checkpoint. And there were the real guns, flame throwers, uniform UH1H (Vietnam war) etc which were really exciting to see in real life. Will be cool if there were some simulators to practice IMT (Infantry Marksmanship Trainer), haha.

Feeling a little more confident about the area, we route Marched to Chinatown, which is quite a bit of distance form the Museums. Arriving there is like kind of weird and yet at home for me. They have funny names for restaurants and stuff. It was good to find a restaurant that has good warm authentic bubble tea with Xiao long bao and floss bread in America.

Really thank God guiding Operation DC. It is imperative to remember that the Lord was, and is, and will be, leading the way from beginning to end. I couldn’t have done it by myself knowing how bad and inexperienced I am with navigation and even getting the correct train tickets. There were many other great exhibits like Gibson guitar and humongous Spaceships. Apologies for only focusing on the army stuff. But certainly most fruitful day, out of studies, in my exchange experience.

Many thanks to D cell group for organizing the farewell party for me in the evening. (Yes, I came back to Baltimore just in time for a party!) Had a meaningful time singing songs for the last together and sharing prayer requests.

I heard the snow is really bad at JFK and it’s not going to stop soon. Flights are highly likely to be delayed. Hm… Thank you Lord for giving me a chance to experience real snow before I leave and having it after Operation DC. The previous snow was kinda mixed with ice. And yes I did it, roll the ice into a ball and throw it (AT LONG LAST)!

So Jack was sharing 1st Corinthians to some of us yesterday when we came to this verse.
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” 1st Corinthians 13:1

As a percussionist, I play many gongs and cymbals. As a matter of fact, there are numerous Orchestra Cymbal excerpts for auditions into music festivals or full time orchestra musician positions. From Tchaikovsky to Rachmaninov, cymbal excerpts not only takes stamina (yes they are heavy in weight) and perseverance, it easily displays some of the obvious flaws when it comes to consistency in tone color, dynamics and musicality. 

I enjoy playing cymbals because of the grandioso it gives to the orchestra, amongst other aspects. However, I must say i feel weird when playing cymbals  for an audition, because it always reminds me of the verse in the opening of this post. Something is missing, and that is love. Now, what if we draw a parallel to percussion? What do you think is missing in a cymbal audition?

Even a rock drummer will tell you that the bass drum is so crucial to the cymbal that it feels awkward to have that beautiful, and sometimes ignored bass drum, AWOL or unaccounted for. And here, I am talking about a beautiful “boooom” color and not a “whaack” noise on the concert bass drum, the latter anyone can do. (Notice the parallel to love) 

I have come to realize love is something I am still learning and growing as a Christian. Even simple things like praying for others, I find it so hard to do. Maybe that’s why out of all my 4 ensemble assignments this semester (Chamber, Wind Ensem, Concert Orchestra, Symphony Orchestra), I received bass drum parts without fail. God help me grow in love, as I play the bass drum beautifully for You.

It’s thththththththththanksgiving day! Finally here. My first winter. My first thanksgiving day. It is not unlike what we have in NUS during Chinese New Year, native Americans go back their homes and all the shops are closed together with the stoppage of shuttle services.

I was tasked to lead songs and emcee  for our Church’s celebration. It is indeed tough to use Mandarin to emcee, especially when you’re facing a crowd of Chinese nationals, amidst Taiwanese and Hong Kongers. Thank God for a very meaningful evening. The history of thanksgiving was shared by Jack, and Qi Xing gave a very clear and concise sharing about how thanksgiving relates to God in our lives. 

The closing song Give Thanks impacted me as I was leading it. I first heard and sang that song in Montfort Junior’s monthly mass. Cool right? Not in Church! Haha. I thought the melody was boring, and the lyrics meant nothing to me. But tonight, I was thinking about the words Jesus Christ given to us in the verse. What powerful words! Recalling the words, Unto us a child is given! A Savior is born!

I found myself walking the streets surrounding Peabody when I got back to school. This is one of the best feelings of my life. To walk around in winter clothing, with gloves and feeling the cold breeze late at night, alone, talking to Jesus, praising God. Can’t get that in Singapore, too hot. I was just looking at the school building and thinking about how the Lord has been so gracious to have brought me through the past 3 months. A thought struck me, “What if the Lord wants me back here in future?” I was afraid of the thought, because I am just barely making it through school, like skin of the teeth kind. Then the words “Let the weak say I am strong”.

Some people ask me if I miss Singapore, miss home. Yes I do. “O so you long to go home!” Well, not really actually. I realized that missing home doesn’t necessarily equate to wanting to go home. I still like Baltimore, although many say it’s too dangerous and boring. Sometimes, it is these simple things in life that makes me excited. My friends are all over America now. Some are in Boston, Philadelphia, Indiana, New Jersey etc. Many of my friends also hope that I will be traveling. But I don’t feel any loss or dissatisfaction. Better is one day in Your House, than thousands elsewhere. Partly no money to travel lar. But for those friends who worry about me wasting my expensive trip to America, I pray God that I will not waste my life. That said, I do plan to visit a couple of places like Washington DC and Philadelphia. (I always say that but the plans never work out! Haha) At the very least, I will definitely go back to New York because I have to catch my plane from there.

I apologize for a late post. It has been a few weeks of rough waves. Spiritually also tough. God has been gracious. I pray that He will cause the miracle of making me desire Him more than anything else, to happen. 

Give thanks to God for,

The struggles that I fight each day in school. It is so grueling. Thank you for giving me SAF training. The mental perseverance is still being stretched. Thinking about what is right. Acting in love in a school that doesn’t know Christ Jesus but constantly uses His name in all of their sentences. 

The favor He has given between me and all my teachers in Peabody.

Jack, who teaches me the Word of God, and allows me to channel the output in serving the Church. Constantly challenging me in areas where I am uncomfortable serving, and patiently showing me how the Bible is true in impacting our lives, with His life. 

Lien-Ying, who showed me what it means to be a humble and submissive servant of God. Also teaching me to do contact work in Church, when almost everyone turns to people they rather be and are more comfortable with.

Giving non believers, particularly Daiqi, Wanqi and Siying so many opportunities to come Church and hear the gospel. May God be gracious to save them.

Haiyu, who reminds me how Jesus died for my sins and loves me despite me forgetting his grace and many times fallen short of His glory. O Lord, have mercy on us. 

For very affordable books from Desiring God. Still deciding which to keep and which to give. 

Dangerous duty of delight

Spectacular sins

Momentary Marriage

Finally Alive x2

What Jesus Demands from the World

Don’t waste your life

All for USD $30, free shipping.

I did my first not so minor recording project this morning at the Baltimore Basilica. Great sounding acoustics, I did not even have to add any artificial reverb. Just listing out what I used so I can come back for future reference.

Instrumentation:
2 Trumpets
Tuba
Trombone
Alto Sax
Drumset

2x M160 Beyer Dynamic (Ribbon)
722
XY technique 90 degrees
Height 7 feet
Distance 9 feet

Sorry, so tired now. I update another day ok?

I was reading through my past entries and saw my 2nd week in America post. Feel so paiseh that I couldn’t keep up with the updates. Many have encouraged me in one way or another, and showed concern especially with regards to my spiritual life. Thank you, and I appreciate them very much. It keeps me reminded to read my Bible and pray everyday. Some also have asked if there’s translation for the last entry that was in the Chinese Language. It was mostly about how I realized that I have more things to talk to my Mum when overseas as compared to at home; and how my percussion studies are always getting harder. 

I had my Chamber Music concert this afternoon. The piece is called “Table Music”, where 3 percussionists play individual wooden boards. It’s really interesting and we were glad that the audience enjoyed it. And then I received again the not so exciting email of weekly percussion assignments from my teacher.

I dunno whether to feel happy or sad? I guess I should be happy, cause I have been switched to a more senior group, consisting of a graduate and 2 other 4th year drummers. I’ve never expected this because I find myself already struggling in the present group that I am. My first reaction when I saw the email was - ahh.. siao liao, like not shiong enough. 

But as I am typing this now, I am thankful to God for all the circumstances that He has placed me in. Really, no matter how hard we find ourselves in a particular situation, He gives us enough grace to go through. There were many days and nights in the practice rooms where I look at the score and go “this is crazy, impossible”, and after a few days, boom. I was surprised at how I was playing it smoothly, sometimes doing it with a smile (another kind of crazy maybe.. haha)

I should also mention that I am getting the hang of enjoying my Basic Recording Course. It was so tough the past few weeks that I even thought of dropping it. Many thanks to Roy, Moo Dean, Randy and Amos who patiently taught me the theory and practical stuff of Condensers, XLR, Dynamic, Ribbon, Super/Hyper Cardioid polar patterns, Shure SM 57, D112, AKG 414, Phantom Power etc when I was in Singapore. My other classmates (5 in all) are either Recording Arts Majors or people who have some kind of background (like parents who are pro studio recording engineers) , so it must have been much tougher without some kind of fundamental knowledge. We’ll be moving to some hands on recording after my mid term test next week and really looking forward to it. 

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

大家还好吗？

最近算还过得哦棵。觉得打电话回家的时候和妈妈能聊特别多东西。打击乐还是依旧的有压力。每一次上完一堂专业课就要开始预备下几堂的课。感觉就象每个星期都有好几次的演出。我相信这不是坏事，只是真的很难把这些重担完全卸下。求主怜悯。

希望能够听到一些新加波的消息。